(At least not yet.)
Now, he's not having problems, but I didn't expect to ever hear a negative word from his teacher. I KNOW, I know, I'm one of those stereotype parents who thinks her child is perfect. I didn't just make it up, though! He really is practically perfect in every way at home! I was worried about a lot of things when he started school, but getting negative notes in his backpack was not one of them.
Could this face ever do anything wrong???
Anyway, the last two days, Joshua has come home with a sad face on his behavior chart (which comes home in the backpack every day after school). Yesterday the teacher said, "I asked Joshua to stop talking and scoot forward on the mat, and he told me 'no'. Then at counting time, he wasn't clapping along with us. I asked him why he wasn't clapping, and he said, 'My clappers are broken'."
I'm going to admit something I'm not proud of. I laughed when the teacher told me this. Right there in her face. Not a big gut laugh, but a chuckle because I relate to the sarcasm so personally. I don't think she appreciated it. She never really smiles anyway, but she looked especially unfriendly when she saw that I was amused. Honestly, I don't think the things he did were especially monumental. I was very disappointed when I heard he told his teacher a straight-out "no," but at some point a child is going to try that one. It's not shocking, really. I really don't think it's that big of a deal that he said his "clappers" were broken, and I kind of admire his creativity. lol! Maybe I'm a bad parent, but come on people, a 5-year-old came up with that one.
So today I got another sad face in his folder, with a note that says, "Joshua had to sit at the Opportunity table [pc word for "isolation table"] today at lunch because he put his fruit in another student's beans."
This upsets me for obvious health reasons, but other than that... he's 5, right? I guess I'm feeling a little shocked that I'm hearing from the teacher at all (except the obvious expected praises, of course)... but I'm not too disturbed by the level of behavior.
Also, it's VERY strange for me to be on the other end of the school system... I'M the one the teacher comes to when there's a problem?? Not like I was a real problem child in school, but I was the kid who just didn't go to class if it didn't sound like loads of fun, and was not attentive when I was in class... I got pretty used to bad report cards and parent-teacher conferences that made me a bit nervous. I guess I just don't feel old enough or ready enough to face the teacher and act like I know how to handle the child she's disappointed with!
Here's where you come in: Should I be more concerned? Should I punish? What should I be doing with my child when he comes home with bad reviews from school? I'm new at this and I don't want to scar my Kindergartner (or not be harsh enough).... Any thoughts???
7 comments:
Well, as you know I don't have any kids of my own - so take what you will from my opinion:
I agree that Joshua is VERY creative to say "My clappers are broken", I would have laughed too ;) haha!!! That's cute!
These seem like little problems, not really big enough to deal with now... but that's just it. There small - but do you want to wait for them to get bigger to deal with them?
In my opinion, just talk to him about them and ask him why he did what he did. It sounds like to me that he's just testing his limits in his new environment. Thinking they're no big deal.
"Heck - if Mom doesn't think there worth getting all riled up about, let's see what else I can do..." know what I mean?
Just my opinion.
i know what you mean about josh being perfect at home....seriously. ive NEVER seen that kid act out...ever!!!! i have to admit that the "clappers are broken" line is HILARIOUS. i laughed , outloaud, as soon as i read it.maybe hes not feeling well or he's nervous or unsure about something and thats why he's acting different. school is a HUGE adjustment and so is having someone else(other then you or steve) telling him what to do and when to do it. Hmmm and maybe the fruit in the beans thing is b/c the other kids a bully and he was getting him back for being mean--i mean you just dont know. teachers cant see everything all the time.im not so sure i would punish him, but i would definatley make it known that his behavior is NOT acceptable and then try to get him to talk to you about why he told the teacher no and put fruit in the kids beans. ask him how he'd feel if someone put something in his lunch. He'll probably say he wouldnt like it. I wouldn't be tooo concerned at this point, but if he keeps coming home with sad faces then i would suggest trying to set up a time to talk to the teacher 1 on 1 ( or 2 if steve goes) I would seriously just explain to him that he needs to listen to his teacher and be nice..blah blah blah. i wouldnt punish him unless he consistently (for like the rest of this week and into next week) is getting sad faces. just try to make him feel like h can talk and open up about what hes feeling...not that that will be easy!! Hang in there chick!hope that helps a little bit.
\xoxox/
I would probably just talk to him about how you need to respect the teacher. You might be able to take care of it with just a quick conversation about school behavior.
I wouldn't feel bad for giggling, I would have done the same thing. As for being concerned, hmmmm...I don't think you're under-reacting or anything. It's little kid behavior and you roll with the punches - something his teacher is apparently incapable of. If it were me, I wouldn't discipline Josh, but just make him aware of what he's doing that is "breaking the rules" and let him know that he's a big kid and going to school and he needs to follow the rules while he's there, just like he has to follow the rules at home.
Just my two cents. Let me know how it turns out! You're my favorite! Muah!
This was hard for me to believe too because of course my grandson is perfect and everything he says/does is cute. Tell the teacher to read my blog if she doesn't believe it! Seriously, I would just talk manners, how to best speak to adults. I agree the broken clappers was pretty good - almost want to praise that one. Anyway, maybe just some calm discussions about respect for people (especially the "old" teachers) and property (don't mix your food with your neighbors) but punish - no way!
ha! I laughed when reading that comment too! I probably would have laughed had I been the teacher (I knew there was a reason I stopped going through elementary ed) Anyway, I don't think these are a big deal AT ALL and I don't know why those little things could merit a sad face for the whole day.. does anyone ever get a happy face?
I totally understand his comment about the clappers. My clappers are broken all the time! This comment is probably about his feelings, not the functional state of his hands. Sometimes we just don't feel like participating, regardless of how much fun everyone else is having at a particular activity or event.
Having spent my kids lives doing it all wrong (and therefore I'm totally unqualified to comment) I'd suggest that you talk to him about his feelings in general while he's at school, without focusing on the sad face thing; then ask him to do what the teacher asks him to do . . . but ask him to do it for YOU, not the teacher. He is a great kid at home - for you - teach him to transfer the actions and attitudes he learned at home out into the rest of the world. Remind him how much better life is and how much better he feels when everyone is cooperating and doing what they are supposed to do at home and then challenge him to set an example for the other kids in how to do the same things at school that he does at home.
That's my two cents worth . . .
Dad
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