As a Mother

People are always telling me things like, "You're such a good mom!"

Every time someone says that to me, while appreciating it immensely (it is definitely my favorite compliment), I always think, "Why do they think that?" Sometimes I even think, "How could you possibly know that?" when it comes from someone who hasn't actually seen my parenting in action. Honestly, no one can know who is a really good parent and who is not, because our best (and worst) parenting moments almost always happen in intimate (one-on-one) situations with our children at home.

I know that I am an overall good mother. I also know that according to MOST ideas of what a "good" mother does, I am a terrible mother. (See: The Bad Mother Manifesto. Unless you are extremely offended by the use of "language". If you can't handle a swear word or two, don't read it. But in my opinion you're missing out! If I could edit for you, I would, because I think everyone should read it, but I feel like she deserves to be linked to directly.)

As a Mother, I Am Bad At:

• Teaching my children basic academic skills. They are smart kids and have done a GREAT job staying on schedule with reading and everything, but I'm pretty sure that's all the fault of their natural abilities and teachers. Very little of that has come from me... and it's something that makes me feel guilty every single day. I have absolutely no idea how to teach them to read, do math, etc.
  
• Organization. I have absolutely no idea where to find important papers, birth certificates, social security numbers, etc. Every time I need to provide one for something, I have to search for days to find them. I have to contact a hospital every time I need their immunization records.
  
• Baby books. I'm no good at recording their stats, etc. Good thing I love to blog, or their entire childhood would be unrecorded!
• Patience. I lose my temper more than I want to, and I quickly jump to yelling when they're fighting with each other. Not really teaching them good communication skills, am I?
• Teaching social skills. While I'm a stickler (hate that word) about good manners, I'm awful at teaching them the basic social skills they need. Saying hello when spoken to, properly addressing someone... I've always been bad at those things myself...
• Family bonding time. We spend all day together, but sometimes I feel like we're lacking in activities that might make our family bonds stronger.
  
• Outdoor activities. I am terrible at getting my kids out to do anything physical! They don't watch a lot of TV or play a lot of video games, but they also don't do much with themselves that might promote coordination or sports ability... And we all know why not!
  
• Uncomfortable conversations. I am terrible when my kids come at me unexpectedly with things that make me uncomfortable. "How is the baby going to come out?" "What's that?" (pointing to my boob) "What's nursing and why will the baby do it?" "Hey, look at my penis!" Every time something like this comes up, I get uncomfortable and stumble over words that don't actually end up sounding like coherent thoughts.
  
• Many, many other things!
  

As a Mother, I Am Good At:

• Teaching my children equality. The concept of "all of life must be fair" isn't going to fly in this house, but I do try to keep things equal in the way that I treat them.
  
• Teaching my children to share. Of course we're still (always will be) working on this, so if my kid doesn't share with your kid, don't judge me for this statement! lol
  
• Teaching my children kindness. Asher struggles naturally with kindness, but I think I'm pretty good at helping him learn better ways to express things.
  
• Teaching my children manners. My kids have great manners!
• Keeping my kids clean, dry, fed and cared-for.
• Keeping my home a decently safe place for them to play. (Of course I have my weeks when I'm not so good at this, but overall my house stays decent. What, you didn't see it those days? Well then YOU have bad timing, my friend! :) )
• Routine. We don't follow a strict schedule around here, but the necessities are always about the same time each day, so they know what to expect. (Meal times, nap and bedtimes, play times, cleaning times, etc.)
• Hugs, kisses, and I love yous. I am REALLY bad at this with everyone else in my life, but with my kids, I have endless love to give out. I'll never quite understand how that works, but the minute I met them I knew I'd never run out. (For all the rest of you, sorry - you'll probably never hear me tell you I love you out loud or give you hugs. It's nothing personal... except that it makes me want to die when I have to express that kind of thing!)

Anyway... I had a point when I started this, but let's face it, I'm pregnant with my third kid. Entire thoughts aren't really my forte at the moment! I'll get back to this post when I think of a nice tie-up-the-loose-ends conclusion. :)