So about a month ago, I went in to see a nurse practitioner for some medication. I used to take a fantastic cocktail of Prozac and Concerta (anti-depressant + ADD med), which kept me feeling happier and more productive (way more productive). I can't take Concerta while I'm pregnant or breastfeeding, so I've been without the medication I needed for more than a year now. My depression has gotten out of hand again, so I asked the nurse practitioner to find me something I can take during my breastfeeding to help me be okay.
One and a half hours of evaluation.
Diagnosis: Bipolar 2.
Prescription: Prozac (anti-depressant) + Seroquel (mood stabilizer)
I was informed that Seroquel might make me tired.
What they meant was: Seroquel will probably make you unable to open your eyes at all, sleep through your baby crying, pass out when you stand up to change his diaper, and throw up from the extreme nausea.
I guess you could say I am frustrated. Even two hours after Max woke up for the day, I was still unable to open my eyes or stand up to hold the baby. I am so dizzy and nauseated I can barely stand it, and I'm still traumatized by the passing out episode I had in the middle of the night when I was supposed to be taking care of Max. Luckily Steve woke up and was able to get Max a bottle and help me back to bed. Yet another reason having a husband has paid off. :)
I'm thinking this medication is off the table. Not being able to take care of my children is unacceptable. Now I'm struggling with the decision to quit breastfeeding altogether in order to get the right kind of medication, or just try to withstand no medication at all until he's a year old?
To be perfectly honest, I don't think being unmedicated is even an option. I am nearly suicidal at this point... something's gotta give.
2 comments:
Hey girl! I just wanted to stop by and say that I know that struggle with nursing and that ache you feel when you think about having to quit but guess what? ALL your children need you to be happy, loving life, and enjoying every minute you can while we are here. If that means that you need to stop nursing so you can take a medication that helps you get to your best place then that is perfectly okay!!! You have by far surpassed the struggles with nursing that most people do, with a reflux baby and all the issues you've come across due to it.
I just wanted to let tell you so you could read it from someone else! You are a great mom and nursing isn't nearly as important as you being in good healthy! Hang in there hun, you'll get it all figured out. :)
I heartily agree. Both my girls were done nursing around 5 months. I would have LOVED to have kept nursing them, but that's just the way things worked out for us. I am a huge proponent of breast feeding -- but it's true that your children need an emotionally healthy mother even more. If it comes down to a choice, choose your mental health. Lots of babies grow just fine on formula. The fact that you've nursed him as long as you could has done him lots and lots of good. He'll totally survive!
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