Oh, the nausea....

My mom says the "morning" sickness (<--needs a new name, btw) went away after her fourth kid (Natalie). Until the day she told me that I wondered how she ever survived seven pregnancies. (Although, I do still wonder...) She says she quit after me because of the really fun 48-hour labor she had to go through to get me out and my "why did you bring me into this world???" attitude after I was born. When I was younger, she said it was because they "felt they were done". I think they "felt they were done" because I was a wretched child, they just left that part out of the explanation until I was old enough to handle the information.

I'm getting off-subject. The point is, I have not yet reached my fifth pregnancy (and never will, God willing), so I am still plagued with the nausea.

My poor kids are left to play in their rooms all day with very little interaction from me because I spend most of my time with a bucket by the side of my bed and would rather not traumatize them. Not only are they playing by themselves, but they are playing in a not-so-unpacked house. Josh is really great at taking care of Asher, though, and he does a lot of the fetching of drinks and snacks that I can't do.

Things I Miss About NOT Being Pregnant:

• Feeding my kids a good, healthy meal. I can't remember the last time I was able to stand long enough to make an entire meal for them. (Does picking up KFC count?)
• Laying on my stomach to type on my laptop!! (Minor inconvenience.)
• Leaving the house WITH makeup on.
• Leaving the house to do something productive (taking Josh to school in my pajamas doesn't count).
  
• Clear-ish skin. I never have really clear skin, but my face is like a mine field when I'm pregnant.
• Getting things done!!! So sick of being completely useless.
  
• Food. Any food. All food. Food that stays where I put it - in my stomach.
  
• Working out. Can you believe I miss it?? Laying around sucks!
  
• Being able to make actual plans that weren't dependant on my current gonna-puke level.

Things That Are Better About Being Pregnant:

• No more worrying about if my stomach is sticking out... it always does, and I have an excuse.
• My kids tell everyone there's a baby in my tummy... and I think it's freakin adorable.
• People don't mind if I'm lazy - some even encourage it!
• I get to have a cute baby!

OK so the second list is a little shorter. Everyone knows pregnancy isn't my idea of fun! Don't act like you're surprised!!!

You've probably gathered by now that this post is purely for my venting purposes. No need to keep searching for the point here - there is none.

I Am the Kind of Girl Who Gets _______ when I'm Pregnant:

• Stretch marks. EVERYWHERE.
• Huge swollen feet for at least six months.
• Mood swings that would make Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde ask for lessons.
  
• "Morning" sickness all day every day, including nausea and vomiting with no warning.
• Headaches. Constantly. Tylenol, you say? Tylenol doesn't touch these puppies. (Random wondering about the English language: Why do we call things "puppies" when we want to make a point?)
  
• One of those cute basketball stomachs. HA! YEAH, RIGHT! Actually, I am shaped like a planet, with pregnancy apparent from every angle and people saying, "Wow, you must be about to POP!" when I'm only six months along.
• Clumsiness that rivals Bella. Warning: Please do not hand me dishes (especially knives and breakable things) - I am guaranteed to drop them on someone's toe.
  
• Just call me Alzheimer's. I don't remember a dang thing, always late, never keeping track of anything.
  

Pregnancy is not my most-loved time. HOWEVER! Let us be clear: I am excited about my new baby! I am GRATEFUL for my miracle, and I am aware of how lucky I am to have the opportunity to be making another human. Several people seem to think I am not grateful for what I have because I am sick and publically vocal about it. I am happy about my baby... I'll just be happier when he/she is here because the next 8 months aren't exactly my favorite thing!