When I was still living in Kansas, I blogged Thursday Confessions every Thursday. I fell out of the habit since I've been back in good ol' Utah, so I've decided to throw out a Thursday Confession for you today.
I'm going to confess to you, my faithful readers (and whoever else ended up stopping by today), my hopes and dreams. There are things I keep to myself about what I want for my future because I'm terrified to make it public knowledge. First of all, I'm embarrassed about what I want. Second of all, I'm a little afraid if I say it out loud it will never happen.
I guess there's a tiny little sliver of a third of all... which is this teensy little voice that tells me everyone would laugh themselves off their chairs if they heard what I thought I might be capable of.
I dream of being a great writer. Not just a writer. A great writer.
I dream of being the kind of writer that makes you want to laugh and then cry and then the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.
I dream of bringing encouragement or education or enlightenment to people through words.
I dream of showing myself more clearly and more honestly than I do now or ever have before.
I dream of reaching that place in life (and society) where I can be 100% me and not hold back. Where I can say what I want to say with exactly the words I want to use, without fear of what someone might think or say to me, especially my family.
I dream of reading great novels.
I dream of going to college.
I dream of going to college SOON.
I dream of being an English major (history minor?).
I dream of teaching English and maybe even history to high school students.
I dream most often of (and here's where it gets especially embarrassing) being an incredible blogger.
The kind that you want to read every morning when you wake up, just to make you laugh or think or cry.
The kind that makes you think, "I want to be friends with this person, even though she's a complete stranger."
I dream of receiving hundreds of comments from strangers, touching peoples' lives I know nothing about. Like DadGoneMad or MyBottlesUp or Motherhood Uncensored... or hundreds of other women blogging flawlessly with hundreds of followers.
I dream of that blog turning into something incredible... like me finally figuring out what my voice is.... and writing a book. One that people would buy. And read.
Okay I'm stopping now before I puke from the embarrassment.
So there it is: my confessions for this Thursday.
7 comments:
I love it. And I don't think you should be embarrassed, because what you want is entirely possible and believable! You are an amazing writer and I know I'm a nobody, but I come to your blog a few times a day to see if there is anything new. You can do it!
Aubrey your so silly!!! Dont be embarrassed about ANYTHING you want in life!! I think your a great writer now.....and your blog, Im addicted. Just b/c i dont comment all the time doesnt mean I havent gotten my *fix*!!! Remember when you were here and told me about you wanting to write a book? do you remember what I told you???? just in case you dont, i told you that I would Buy( and read,:p) your first copy!!! so get to it girl...i still mean that!
i miss you and im happy your happy at home!
xoxoxoxoxo
I love your confessions. I don't think your dreams are far fetched at all. I love reading your blog and seeing what you're thinking/feeling/going through. You're real in your writing and that's what I love! Keep it up and your dreams will soon be reality :)
Aubrey, I love how vulnerable this entry was!! I honestly do check your blog everyday to see what new things are happening in your life. Plus I love your writing style. I'm sure that doesn't make you feel better but all those other blogs start with someone reading it everyday!!!
I confess too that I wish a lot more people were willing to read about my life and want to know everything happening at all times... but at the same time, I guard my blog with my life because most of it is talking about my frustrations in life and it's mostly about certain people. And I like to get it out and not hold anything back. So with that, I'll never have more than a handful of blog buddies. :)
But I love your blog and I know all those goals will work out someday!!!
This is a great post. You gotta get over that embarrassed feeling though, Missy! You should never feel embarrassed about what you want or what you're working towards. Just scream it to the world "I AM an amazing writer and I WILL do wonderful things with my writing!!!!!! Including BLOG!" You gotta own it, girl! It WILL happen :)
Dreams are what keep us going; and they can be achieved. Stating them and putting them in writing actually moves us closer to achieving them so good for you! Atta girl!
Of course you can do all those things! In fact you're already well on your way. Keep up the good work!
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