I haven't blogged in ages. Or read anyone else's blogs... I have basically been MIA for the last two months. I can only partially blame it on the fact that I don't have internet at home, since I spend several hours a week at my mom's house where there is an internet connection for my laptop...
Mostly it's because I haven't been able (willing) to blog about what's real in my life.
Without talking about what's real I don't see the point in writing... My blog is a place for me to be 100% myself, 100% real with the world... without that ability blogging feels pretty useless.
So here it is. For those who are still reading... and all those who have asked me what's wrong. And for my own sanity...
Reality.
My husband moved out September 2, 2009.
He's not moving back in.
No, I'm not okay.
No, I'm not suicidal.
No, I don't want to list the reasons for the separation. We have done absolutely everything we can manage to try to pull this thing through this, and it's just not something we can bring back to life.
It has been six weeks, and I am starting to feel a little less like I'm drowning and a little more like a human again... most days.
Now you know. It's out there. Now it can be real and I can come back.
12 comments:
I commend you for being so open and forthcoming. I can only imagine how difficult it is to write just what you did. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are amazing and loved by a lot!!
I'm so sorry Aubrey. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. I'm thinking about you.
oh wow...I am so sorry. I can't imagine taking care of two little boys and being pregnant w/out a husband around to help out :( I'm sorry...let me know if I can help you in any way.
Glad your back, we've missed you.
Oh, Aubrey. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I am very glad to hear that you are 'coming back'. Its good to hear from you. I want you to know I'm praying for you. Things will get better.
You're such a strong girl. Good job on being real. I feel like it sucks that I'm so far away and disconnected from you're life. This blog is my only connection to you and neither one of us are really in a place to keep up with blogging.
Just know that you're in my heart as you go through this tough time (and always)
Hey Aubs, sorry to hear of all this. I really am not too sure what to say, except for sorry, hearing that someone is praying for you is comforting, but doesn't do much for the situation. I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry! I hope you know that if I could I would come and give you a big squeeze..not too hard though. sorry to those that have the comments about the prayers..it is very sweet and comforting..but for me in my tough situations didn't help much...I am sending you some hugs from TX!!
Aubrey, as I've always said, you are an amazing and strong woman. I have always admired you but even more so now. This is the first step and the first step is ALWAYS the hardest. I know the rest won't be easy but you know that a lot of people love you and will support you always from this point on (like me) and I'm sending out my hugs along with Faith (west :))
I just want you to know that I am thinking about you often and praying for you and your family. My sister is going through a similar situation with 3 kids as well, and all I have to say is, you are an amazing, strong person! I admire you for everything you are dealing with. Please let me know if I can be of any help!
Oh Aubrey. I am so sorry. I can say that I know what you are going through. It is so very hard to care for two children and be pregnant(esp since this one has been so hard for me)without the help of a husband. You are lucky to have your family nearby. We are praying for you everyday. Hug those sweet boys for me!
Oh Aubrey. I am so sorry. But I must post here in the comments and turn this sad post about your grief and sorrow into a chance to tell the world about my own. You see my life has been very hard, especially since my wife brought false charges against me in court and has denied me access to my two gorgeous daughters for almost 3 months. You are lucky to have your children at home. Hug those children that you actually have!
Aubrey, Jon and Karla -
I am so sorry for all of you. I pity each one of you for different reasons and hope you can all come out better for the problems you are enduring right now. And hopefully Karla will soon be relieved of the oh-so-stressful care of her children until reality and her sense of reality become closer to the same.
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