Thursday, 9:45 am. I am filling out FAFSA on the living room couch, netbook on my lap. Steve is playing tickle games with Josh and Asher, who are giggling uncontrollably. The newest member of our family, a brand new crawler, is exploring the floor next to the couch.
Cough. Choke.
Panic.
Steve lifts the baby off the floor, who immediately vomits, and continues to choke. His eyes are glossy and his face is turning blue.
"Is there something in there, or is it reflux?" I ask.
"I don't know... looks like reflux..." Steve guesses.
More choking.
No. "There's something in there," Steve says, panic thick in his voice.
I force his mouth open to see if there's something I can get out myself. Yes. Something shiny and clear in there. I reach in for a finger sweep, and pull out a piece of tape.
A tiny little piece of tape almost cost my son his life today. And I have never felt this feeling before.
My sweet little mortal son... could be taken away from us at any moment. Living without him would be unbearable. My children... my sweet boys... I can't bear to lose them. And everything else I "can't bear to live without" doesn't even compare.
Today I am thanking God for Max's chance at life.
4 comments:
And, the instant the tape was removed Max said to himself, "Glad that's over, it was uncomfortable" and went back to just being a baby - not knowing the danger he'd just escaped . . . feeling invincible in the reverie of youth.
Wnen does the invincible reverie of youth wear off? . . . sometime after you become a parent.
Glad you're all OK.
That is so scary! I think it was around crawling time I started getting compulsive and vacuuming daily. I guess I got out of the habit somewhere along the line. So glad he's OK.
In response to Dad's comment - I wish the invincible feeling always went away when a person becomes a parent! :)
I am so glad Max is okay. That is such an awful feeling.
I thought it was funny, though, to read your story about Max nearly choking and then the next post title is "Got some marbles". Hmmm....maybe you should use cheerios for your incentive jar!
Nat - I think the invincible feeling does "always go away" sometime after you become a parent . . . it's just a matter of waiting long enough. Eventually old age or death will kill it if adult perspective doesn't kill it first.
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