Asher-Isms

Can I just tell you how much I adore my little Ash?

He has an attitude like you wouldn't believe.... Well, maybe you would, if you know me well. He says sassy things that make me so mad sometimes, but he seriously doesn't understand what's wrong with it. His mind just works that way, and can we really fault him for that? He's got Miller AND Ortega blood in him. It was basically inevitable.

Asher: If somebody wraps you up in tape, that's because you're a bad mommy.

Me: What??

Asher: 'Cause some people wrap up mommies in tape when they're bad.

Me: Who said that?

Asher: I did!

(Thanks, Andrea, for clearing this one up for me - he meant MUMMY! Apparently he thinks mummies are bad mommies who are being punished, hahahaha!)

One day I was taking him to school in my brother's truck. I'm not used to driving it, so I ran into the curb when I parked the car. Asher said, "Whoa! Mom! My seatbelt just SAVED MY LIFE!"

My favorite thing is when he gets things backward. On the way home from Grandma 'Chele's house the other day, he fell asleep. When we tried to make him walk inside, he discovered his feet were asleep. Today we walked home from his school. It's pretty cold, so we had hats, scarves, mittens, etc. After almost the entire walk, he said, "Mom, you gotta slow down. My hands are awake. I need to take a break." We stopped for a few minutes, and he said, "Ok, now they're sleeping. We can go, but don't wake them up."

My second-favorite thing? The way he interprets words that he doesn't hear very well. Example:

• omputer (computer)
• eyeclops (cyclops)
• frustertated (frustrated) "Josh, do you know how to do this puzzle? 'cause I'm really frustertated with it right now!"
• Jasper (Casper)
• upswide down (upside down)
• etc etc etc!

This picture is from the day I picked him up from school and he said, "Look at this! I have a scratcher."  Haha! It's a mosquito bite that itches. I love how his mind works.

His most common phrase is, "If you do that again, I'm going to ______."  (Fill in the blank with random consequence.)  My in-laws are always saying, "If you do dat again, my will punch you," because Asher said that all the time about a year ago. He's still making threats, and it gets less funny all the time... I know I say it's cute, but I'm also aware that he's getting older and it will be less cute really soon. Yesterday when I picked him up in Jon's truck, he said, "Can I sit in the front seat? Please, please, please???" I said, "No," and he said, "If you let me sit in the front, I will let YOU drive."



I'm so sad he's growing up... but he gets cuter and smarter (and harder) every single day.