Asher-Isms

Somehow Asher just keeps getting cuter. I always think, "This is so sad, he's getting so old!" but the older he gets, the more he surprises me! He's still cracking me up and tugging at heart strings.

This morning:

Asher: Mom, what happens when you die?

Me: Go to Heaven. 

(I have issues with serious questions from my kids. 

I always end up over-simplifying things when I answer their questions)

Asher (tears welling up in his eyes): I don't want to go there!

Me: Why not? 

Asher: Because! I don't! Why do we have to go to Heaven?

Me (seriously relating to him right now): That's where Jesus lives, and he misses us. Don't you think it would be nice to live where Jesus lives?

Asher: No...

Is Jesus just pretend? 

Me: No, Jesus is a real guy.

Asher: Is he invisible? (which is actually pronounced "invincible")

Me: No. We can't see him right now, but not because he's invisible. 

He just gets to stay in Heaven and wait for us. 

Asher (giving up on that thread): Are you gonna die? 

Me: Yes, at some point I will. But I'll be with you for a long time first. (knock on wood)

Asher (again, tears): I don't want you to die!

Me: I know. I'll be with you for a long time, so don't worry about that. I won't die until I'm old.

Asher: But you're already old!

Me: (Ouch.) No I'm not. 

Asher: Yes you are. Your number is really big.

Me: 26 is not really old. And I'm not gonna die till I'm like 130. 

 (Just for the record, God, I really don't want that to be true.)

Asher (not really believing me): Oh. Well... is Daddy gonna turn into a grandpa?

Me (having learned from a previous conversation where Asher thought when I turn into a grandma I will stop being his mom): Someday, if you have kids, Daddy will be their grandpa...

But he'll still be your dad.

Asher: No he won't! He'll turn into a grandpa! You said! (Tears) 

...I don't want Daddy to turn into a grandpa!

What do I do with this amazing kid who sees through every simple response I give him, and feels just as strongly about these serious issues as I always did? I very clearly remember sitting on my dad's lap when I was a little girl, crying because he told me that someday I would grow up and get married and not live with him anymore. I cried and cried and told him I only wanted to live with him forever. 

I'm so glad I have such a smart little boy. He's so perceptive sometimes, it scares me to death! But what an incredible person he is. At just 5 years old, he's questioning the world the way I always have, and I don't have the answers for him. 

I guess I'd better be figuring it out right about now... it's only going to get more complicated from here. (My therapist will be seeing me weekly from now on.)   :)