Asher-Isms

 

Very Christmas, Mom!

(I love how Asher always hears things just a little bit wrong...
haha, Merry Christmas!)

*****

Asher (watching Hope Floats with my mom): Why did that grandma die?

Grandma:  Something went wrong with her body, and she died. Sometimes people die and it's very sad.

Asher:  I wouldn't be sad. I don't care.

Grandma (not fully understanding Asher's need to shock people with his brutal honesty): What if I died?

Asher: I wouldn't care.

*****

Grandpa (Giving Asher a hug):  You want a hug?

Asher (chuckling): Grandpa's funny.

Grandpa: ....looking.

Asher: Yeah.

*****

Me: Asher, that's not the garbage. Go throw this away in the garbage.

Asher: Ok. 

(Asher walks over to me and puts his already-used tissue on me.)

Me: I'm pretty sure I am not the garbage.

Asher: Yes, you are.

*****

Asher:  Mom, is this your tummy?

Me (bracing for impact): Yes...

Asher: Oh. It's getting big.

Me (preparing for pregnancy question): Oh?

Asher (thinking): Fat. Like... Santa. I guess it's 'cause you eat so much food.

 *****

Asher, eating salad at dinner (holding up a piece of lettuce): Am I eating a LEAF?!?! 

*****

Asher: Do you want to see the picture I made at school? It has feathers.

Me: Yes! It's amazing! You do SUCH fun things at school!

Asher (completely unimpressed): Um... You might want to be little again.

*****

Asher: Mom, will you write a letter to  Santa for me? (handing me a piece of paper and pen)

Me: Sure. What would you like it to say? 

Asher: 

Dear Santa, 

I want you to bring me a present. I want Thomas choo-choo trains with little tracks. And I want a suit - a bat suit. I really want some Spiderman glasses. What I want very best is a helmet for my bike.

And for my mommy I want a doll.

Nothing else.

Thank you, 

Sincerely,

Asher

Too bad Santa is already packing his sleigh, huh? It's a little late for requests, little Asher.