Well, I saw my meds doctor yesterday. As I've mentioned before, he has diagnosed bi-polar and depression, so he started me on a mood stabilizer called Seroquil. It was a disaster. Yesterday I went back to the doctor (well, nurse practitioner, if you want to get technical) and asked him for a change. He agreed that the Seroquil needed to go, and I asked him for my old combination back - Concerta + Prozac. I was happy on those meds. I was productive. I was skinny.
His response was this: Without a mood stabilizer, the ADD med (Concerta) mixed with the anti-depressant (Prozac) is "likely to send me into a manic state," which apparently would be really bad (the way he describes it is similar to Armageddon).
Honestly, I think a manic episode sounds pretty good right about now. The deep, dark hole I've been living in makes a manic state sound like Utopia. Anyway, he finally agreed to let me try Concerta again (YAY), but only after I am established on the mood-stabilizer (Lamictal). This takes 4 weeks to build up to the 100 mg dose I'll need to be taking, so I'll be living without my Concerta for another month. Hopefully, though, Lamictal will turn out to be a good thing, and then I'll have a nice cocktail of anti-crazy that I can work with. My marriage (and my sanity) could really use a boost like that!
As you probably already picked up on, mood stabilizers and amphetamines don't mix well with breastfeeding. (You'd be right.) In order to have this change, I need to stop breastfeeding altogether. As it was, I was only able to nurse Max a couple of times a day anyway, but I am still heartbroken over it. I tried for 8 months to produce enough milk for my baby, but after the NICU insisted on supplements (and Steve and I had to share time with the baby while we were separated), I was never able to come up with enough for him. Breastfeeding is something I feel really strongly about and really wanted to do exclusively, but it didn't work for us this time. I am letting it go for the sake of my sanity (and those around me).
Wish me luck with the trial-and-error! Lamictal, please be my answer.
2 comments:
Yay! I am so excited for you! Life is so much easier when our bodies are working properly! Thank goodness for modern medicine!
don't beat yourself up about not nursing anymore...really. It's great for the baby, but there is another part of being a mother and that is taking care of the MOTHER....sometimes for your sanity this is just what you have to do. He will be just fine...and anyone that tells you any different is crazy. Breastfeeding is not easy and not convenient.. I don't think... I do it...but also use formula...I am very pro breastfeeding if it works for you, if it doesn't, no big deal. I think sometimes there is so much pressure for young moms to nurse that it leads a lot to PPD...they beat themselves up because it's not working etc...and want so badly to do it...however, kids turn out just fine w/formula.
Good for you for sticking it out that long! and good luck w/the new meds.
Post a Comment